i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
