Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I AM VODKA MAN
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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