I think my vagina is haunted
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
