Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
we're so committed to being not committed
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
