then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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