I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
