Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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