I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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