Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
