He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
