Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
