Where did you get a picture of my penis
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those š
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
āOn a breakā is implied when itās a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
