I'm jealous of your bromance
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
