are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
