i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
