your room smells of hookers.
And success
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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