If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
