addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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