8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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