does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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