Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
They took my balls.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
