my sisters under your porch take her home
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
