at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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