i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
