she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He? As in you personified your dick?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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