he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
