ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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