i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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