Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
They took my balls.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
