break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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