Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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