But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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