i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize