thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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