Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
