I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
