I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
