Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
