coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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