Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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