i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
