Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize