508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
