Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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