it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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