Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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