she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
