I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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