i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
