Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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