her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
