Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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