I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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