At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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