Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
