I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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