I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
MIDGETS
????
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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