My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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