is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
