Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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