I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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