So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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